I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
this just has baby written all over it
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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