i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
