Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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