I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
