So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
