my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
