once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
