i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
