I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Randomize
