That's intense
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
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