But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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