More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
