Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
