If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
