# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
