Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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