I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
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