i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
