u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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