We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
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