The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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