Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize