All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
