I just gift wrapped bread.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
