Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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