I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
