thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
