this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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