so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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