he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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