I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
