even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
