You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
