Well douche your snatch and let's go!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm sobbing to NWA
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
