You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
