Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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