Well douche your snatch and let's go!
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
