3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
