Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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