And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
