He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
