why didn't you poke me back
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
We left the knife in your bed.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
