It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize