Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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