I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.