so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.