Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
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No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
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Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"