Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?