Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying