Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
23 Insane Reasons People Got Fired
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?