id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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