dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize