I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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