Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
