I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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