Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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