hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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