first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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