SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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