out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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