So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
