I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
