he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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