just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
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